Saturday, April 29, 2006

Some Recommended Reading for Mothers

...also highly recommended for Dads, especially if they do much care-giving:

Mothers & More 2006 "Mothers at Work" Reading List

Sadly, I have not read any of these books, although I have read quite a few on their general recommended reading list on Motherhood and Society. Also, I just bought a copy of The Motherhood Manifesto: What America's Moms Want and What to Do about It, by Joan Blades and Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner, and The F Word: Feminism in Jeopardy, by Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner. And as soon as I finish Huck's Raft (I'm up to the 60's finally), I'll get right on them.

Meanwhile, check out MUBAR's The Feminine Mistake, a very perceptive review of Darla Shine's Happy Housewives (which I ranted about here).


S. Lynne Fremont said...

I havent read that Shine book nor do I intend to. Yet, I find I have a lot to say about it based on your previous rant and on the review you linked to.

I wont go into everything although that bit about her judging the woman in the grocery store really hit home since I am very fat woman and I know first hand how judgemental people can be if I ever buy anything they would consider to be "bad". When she wrote about wanting to ram the woman in her fat ass and how another person's food choices actually made her angry, I wasnt sure what to think. I mean "is she for real" crossed my mind. I mean *anger*?!? Dang, that is some pretty intense fat hatred there. I have to say that it is difficult for me to have much respect for her after reading that.
When she talked about feminists not giving stay at home mothers respect, I found it hard to be sympathetic. I mean, she cant even give some respect to another woman based upon nothing else but what that woman chooses to eat

I also imagine that if I were to read that book, I would probably find myself happy that I dont live in her world. Sometimes I regret not ever having children and husband and all that goes with that. But the life she seems to be depicting is not a life I have ever wanted for myself. I cant imagine being married to a man who needs to be taken care of. I cant cant imagine making a man such a big priority in my life. Nor can I imagine myself in a situation where I had to suck up to a man because I wanted some new furniture as if because he is the one with an income, a decision like that should be solely his. In my fantasy of husband and kids, I would prefer to be a stay at home parent but I always imagine myself as being the sort who keeps a slightly messy home and spends a lot of time I would otherwise spend cleaning interacting with my children (who btw, since I am dreaming, are perfect little angels who would never NEVER annoy me and would always be so well behaved that I could take them *anywhere* because I never let small things like reality get in the way of a good daydream).

I know that I would never worry about looking cute or worry about hanging out with the A-List moms at the playground. I mean, I never liked those bitches when I was in highschool so why would I like them now? I mean seriously, a freaking *a-list* on the playground. Would there be a playground prom queen too? I mean some of my best friends are fashionable stay at home moms but none of them seem to be preoccupied with "in-crowds" and, thankfully, dont mind being seen with a kind of rumpled single friend who never wears make-up.

I suspect that if I were to ever buy into what she is saying I would be miserable. From what I can tell she seems to think that a woman's worth comes from either her career or her status as a homemaker. I say that a woman's worth is more than that and doesnt really come from what she chooses to do with her time. Staying home with the kids certainly isnt always valued as much as it should be but putting down people who make different choices hardly seems like an effective way of raising her status.

She reminded me a bit of that old SNL "church lady" skit and I wonder if there is a part of her that wouldnt like to break out in a superiority dance once in a while.

tomama said...

Hey, thanks so much for the link!


Devra said...

If you really love books, make sure to scroll down to the bottom of that page and click on the link to the list of books M&M recommends on a variety of topics that impact moms (and dads!) I don't know why they have that sentence written so tiny, it really should be displayed better!

As for Shine...Let's sit on her. ; )

Sandy said...

As for Shine...Let's sit on her. ; )

LOL, with our not-quite "A-list" asses?